At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
