Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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