3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
