i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
