I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
