i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
