ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
