He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
No...this little piggys going to the bar
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
