Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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