We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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