I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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