Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
