Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
