can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
