just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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