Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
