Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
