Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
i out mim tonsoeep
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