This girl is more easily done than said...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
