it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
