I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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