do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
