Only a mothe r could love this liver
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
