hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
