I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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