you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
