You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
