I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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