I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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