So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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