He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
