Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
