ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I cut my penus on the lid.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
