1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
