so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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