Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
