party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
