dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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