She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
