im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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