No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
