idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i dont even know how to be here
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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