i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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