i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
