So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
only if we run a train.
done.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
