turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
