Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
