I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
