we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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