Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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