What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
