I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
