Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
